Why Was I in Such a Rush?

 

adult collage (2)Finish the Sentence Friday

This week’s sentence is One of  the most unexpected parts of being a grownup is…”

…being an adult.

All my teens I wanted to grow up, be an adult, do what I wanted. Now here I am 38 years old, married, have a son and I wonder why I was in such a rush. Don’t get me wrong, if you know me and read my blog, you know I love my life. I just realized that I am now where my parents were. 

As a kid I watched as my parents deal with the death of their parents, dealt with deaths of friends, dealt with their own aging. Now here I am with aging parents and feel a bit scared. I don’t care about the fact of getting old, I love the gray hairs I am getting, I am going to rock aging. But aging also comes with the fact that my parents are aging. They are in relatively great shape, but what would I do? I call my parents everyday, what would I do? How did they survive that loss? Being a kid it doesn’t phase you, now as an adult it truly scares me. I have been truly lucky in the fact that both my parents are still married and in my life.

parent CollageThen it hits me, what would Dino do? He is so attached to my dad. As long as I waited for a child, they waited for a grandchild. Dino is their world.  He loves his Pop Pop and La La, what would happen if they were no longer there? My father would come up and take care of a tiny Dino when he was sick and both hubby and I couldn’t take off work. He would feed him, change him, and play with him. Dino and my father have a special bond that I know will continue to grow. I don’t want him to lose that, ever…

Each moment, each stage achieved, each moment of learning means a step closer to Dino going off to college, leaving home. Believe me I truly enjoy life, I treasure each moment I have with my son, he’s a miracle, a gift I once though was unattainable. Though every once in a while I think about the future and while I see so many amazing things, I also feel sad for all the changes that I have no control over.

 


Comments

Why Was I in Such a Rush? — 24 Comments

  1. Tears reading this and I know I feel the same way. I truly don’t want to think about losing my parents or my girls losing their grandparents, as well as them growing up and leaving our house. These things are inevitable, but still truly want to try to make time slow a bit. And like you not really sure why I was always in such a rush to grow up, because like I said now I wish I could slow it down just a bit. Hugs and Karen know I totally get and am with you on this.

  2. So very true. My older son is a freshman in college and my younger son will be next year. What I have learned is that “time flies” is a cliche for a reason. You’re right, cherish it, because time truly does fly.

    • I am sure you have wondered when your boys have grown up. I want Dino to become a great man, but also worry that he WILL be a man and my boy will be gone…

  3. So true, Karen. As we rush on to our next destination, we often don’t realize all the many blessings we are taking for granted. And though I hear the reminder to stop, value, treasure… I still rush on. Sigh… at least I will know to give an extra hug today:)

  4. The thought of our parents growing old is rather painful, because, of course, we want them to be with us forever. Kids do share a special bond with their grandparents, so the best thing to do is to let them have lots of good memories.

  5. Ugh! I lost my Dad a few years back, and if it wasn’t for my sister, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it! Mom seems to be holding her own, but she’s pretty up there now too, so it’s definitely a worry of mine. 🙁

    • I am deeply sorry for your loss, I can’t fathom life without my parents, glad yo uand your sister had each other. It;s scary how much we as adults have to worry about and lose.

  6. I feel so sad for all of the changes we can’t control as well and although my parents are healthy, I do already fear for the day when that changes. I remember being a kid and thinking that I couldn’t wait to grow up and do what I wanted as well! And now, as an adult, I guess I sometimes get to do what I want but it looked different on the other side of it, ya know?

  7. This hit home. Lost my father this past May. My boys who are all young men now were so close to him it was devistating. We do feel blessed though that we were there for his last moments.

  8. I think this is a question we all ask ourselves. I never even thought about my parents aging until they hit their sixties and my husband’s parents (who are a decade older than my own) started to show their own wear and tear. Somehow it seems so strange to have so many grandparents still alive yet to also have an understanding that our own parents are entering the last few decades of their own lives.

  9. This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. My life is so intertwined with my parents and in laws that I think I will be one of those people who picks up the phone to call them even if they’ve been gone for years. I keep intending to sit down with my mom and ask her about the experience of losing her mom. It’s not the easiest thing to bring up, but I bet she has some wisdom to share.

    • I would do the same thing babe, I just may have to settle for writing letters and creating emails…I could not go on if I couldn’t speak to my parent. that is going to be one hard but informative conversation

  10. When you loose your parents, it pushes you right up to the top. Ugh. Everyday I think of my mother. I so want to confide in her. After she died, I really have no one to talk to, you know? Wish I could pick up the phone, but I can’t.

    When it hasn’t happened, one cannot imagine, but when it happens, you deal with it, just like anything else.

  11. Oh, Karen, I related to every single word of this. Sometimes I have to catch myself even now- STOP looking ahead to things! Slow down and enjoy. Watching my parents age truly scares me to death. I can hardly bring myself to imagine life without them.

Would love to read your thoughts