This week’s Listicles is 10 Things you would tell your teenage self, by Coletta
I worked on this post, deleted it, rewrote it, edited it, deleted it and wrote another version. Finally I have what I am happy with it, well slightly happy.
I had first wanted to incorporate a letter to all my bullies. I wanted to ask them if their children are bullied? If their children are the bullies? If they are proud of what they did? If they feel any remorse? Then I realized I would waste my entire post on them and they aren’t work the time.
Finally I thought about going back in time to when I was in high school and at my geekiest, weirdest, craziest, scariest, and clueless moments. I also thought about where I am in my life right now. Combing those two ideas, I would leave this for my teenage self.
Dear Teenage Karen,
Don’t despair. Your mom was right, you are going to be an amazing woman, it will happen. Here is some advice from me, or rather an older you.
A Rockin’ and Happy 38 year old Karen
1. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LESS THAN. Leave them behind, they do not get to drain you of who you are. Surround yourself will positive-people, especially when going through IVF. What’s that you ask? It’s the miracle that will complete your soul, the miracle that gives you and your husband a family, the miracle that makes life worth living.
2. It is okay to be who you are. Own it and don’t change for anyone. So you can be geeky and awkward at times-you will have friends who love that about you. So you prefer to stay home and read, you will pass on your love of books and knowledge to your son. So you have a set routine with your son, it doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for you. You can’t please people, don’t try, only focus on you and your family.
You will be an awesome mom, you are going to have many years to prepare for motherhood. You know what to do and and will rock at it. Screw anyone who tells you differently. Hell, you may curse often, but your son is polite, courteous, and kind. While he may not always be recognized for this, know you are shaping a good man.
3. Accept when you mess up, apologize, and try to make it right. It’s tough and you may need help, but the guilt will eat away at you if you don’t. On the flip side…forgive, but never forget. Forgive and mean it, but don’t let them hurt you again…and don’t owe them a reason why. Say thank you and truly appreciate those who help you.
People will talk and gossip, that is human nature. Ignore them, seriously laugh it off and ignore them. The more a person gossips, the more they bring negativity into their own lives. If someone wants to make you aware of what someone else said about you say, “No thanks. I don’t care.” You are an amazing woman, wife, and mom who gives a sh*t what someone else thinks.
I am still working on this…but realize how powerful it can be. Soon the messenger will get the hint and say to the gossiper. “It has nothing to do with me. I don’t want to hear it.”
4. Yes, you will get crazy with rage at times. Yes, you will get so nervous you stay awake for days and want to vomit. Yes you will cry hard at times, no apologies, this will make you stronger and teach you to appreciate what you have. Some people will apply a diagnosis to your emotions, they are wrong for doing that. If they haven’t been in your situation, they are coming up short and don’t know what to say.
Before you know it, you are not going to live in the same house as your mom, dad, and sister. You look forward to moving out now, but it will scare you and break your heart at times. You will wish you had spent more time with them. Even now, you will forget, but remember enjoy each moment with them. Your parents watched you grow up to become a wife and mom. You will one day watch your son become a husband and father. Time moves too fast. Your sister is the only one who truly knows and understands your childhood. You will often forget that even now, but make sure you enjoy each and every moment.
5. You are going to have your heart broken a few times, it will hurt more than you can imagine. It will happen in a variety of ways. Life will go on though and you will find love and peace. Your soul will be at peace one day. You will actually appreciate the heartbreak because it all led you to where I am today.
6. Have faith and believe, but also know true evil walks among us. The devil is everywhere looking to hurt you, deceive you, and trick you. Don’t waiver in what in you believe.
Things will happen in life and you will try to figure out out why. You will either find out many years later the reason why or never know. God is there, your angels are there, they know what is best for you. Trust that voice and know it is not what you wanted, but what you need.
7. If someone doesn’t like you it’s their fault, their issue, not yours. You can’t change them. Don’t let their issues change you. On the flip side, don’t pretend to like someone, that is cruel Sure be friendly and courteous, but don’t lead them on.
8. One day you will have a blog. It will start as a dog blog, then a new mommy blog, then turn into a blog about being a mom of a wild boy. It will be YOUR blog and yours alone. You will own the url and have total control of what goes into your posts. Some will think you are crazy, some will love what you write, others hoping you will fail, others critiquing everything you write, some will enjoy reading about your son and give you wonderful feedback, others looking to see to see if they are better than you, and others will talk about your blog but never to your face. Just smile and keep blogging, this is a true testament to your life as a mom, a legacy for your son, memories of your life.
You will work hard to take the best pictures, create watermarks, edit photos and create collages, write posts, edit posts, publish, link up to other blogs, learn how to read html codes, meet other bloggers, and the list goes on all while being a mom, wife, and full time teacher. You will work hard and you will write what you want. Don’t change what you write or change your blog, because of a critic. If someone doesn’t like your blog they can always create their own…that is the beauty of blogging.
9. You will have a career, earn a Master’s Degree in Literacy. You will be a highly qualified and accomplished teacher. There will be many people who try to show-off or tell you what to do. Never be the person who shows off her career or degrees. It’s tacky and rude, you KNOW you are knowledgeable and accomplished, that is all that matters.
10. Don’t get into arguments with people who think they know more than you. You will often forget this and want to slap yourself about it later. You will never win, you will always lose, even if you are right. Once again they have issues and you are only wasting your time. Sure tell them to back off politely or not-so-politely if the situation calls for it, but don’t try to prove them wrong. They will drain you all of all intelligence. Worrying about them takes time away from the important things.
What would you tell your teenage self?
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