Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado
The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
Spatulas on Parade
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Stacy Sews and Schools
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Disneyland in Kentucky
Southern Belle Charm
The Lieber Family
Someone Else’s Genius
Confessions of a part-time working mom
Small Talk Mama
Searching for Sanity
Which Disney character do you most identify with and why?
It was submitted by: http://www.smalltalkmama.com
At first I was freaking out. I don’t really relate to any Disney Characters…the villians are evil, the parents are weird or crazy, and the princesses are too sappy or weak. Okay , Merida was one cool chick and totally bad ass! The other ones, I want to scream at hwo they were written.
Then it hit me….I am going to remake the princesses into feminists who create their own happy endings. Of course I had to go with the princesses that I knew as a girl. If I didn’t list your princess, well it’s because I don’t remember the movie or haven’t seen it.
So here goes, this is how I would have liked the movies to be written and animated.
Snow White does NOT eat the poisoned apple…in fact she only eats organic and NON-GMO foods…and the evil witch hired by Monstanto is no match for her. She forces the witch to eat her own chemical apple. The witch sadly develops allergies and the world sees through all of Monsanto’s lies and evil plans. Snow White decides to change her name to Stella Walker and chooses to NOT marry the prince, but they do live together. She tells him she has a mission, to go off and fight for everyone to have real food. The prince, who we shall name, Jonathan stays home to raise the kids and help the Dwarfs start up and their new house cleaning business, which they name “The Dudes Who Clean”,
Cinderella has had enough of the abuse and bullying by her step mother and step sisters. She slowly poisons them knowing they will soon go mad. Just as she planned they begin to go insane, and their vile and crude behavior destroys the ball. When the prince comes looking for a match to the shoe, his servants instantly throws her step mothers and sisters in the dungeon for fear they will infect others. The prince sees the glass slipper fits Cinderella and wants to marry her. She turns him down. Seriously why would she marry a man who only cared if she fit a shoe? This man has issues. She inherits her dad’s house and realizes she is great with animals. She becomes a veterinarian and everyone loves and trusts her with their pets. Many years later, Cindy, meets a man with two daughters. They fall in love and get married in a simple ceremony and she becomes a wonderful stepmother and role model.
Rapunzel goes through puberty…realizes this is all bull. She cuts off her hair and sees the witch die. She wonders why she didn’t do that sooner. Sadly she has no idea who she really is, then Flynn happens upon her. He thinks he’s won her over, but she can’t be played anymore. He agrees to find her family if she’ll go on one date with him. Eventually he returns with news of her family and reunites her with them. They do hit if off and Zelly, as she likes to be called, one day trips and gets a terrible scar. As it heals she likes the way it looks. They research this concept, now realizing it’s similar to tattoos. They study and train to become tattoo artists and not only cover themselves in tattoos, but open an ink store. The kingdom is thrilled to have such a hip prince and princess who show that they accept everyone for who they are!
Sleeping beauty is kissed by a stranger…after the kiss he decides he can’t control himself and decides he must have her right now. She wakes up to him trying to take off her clothes. She successfully fights him off much to his shock. He can’t understand why she won’t submit to him, he must have her, she belongs to him now. He tries once more and she breaks his nose and throws him out the window. She spreads the word that he’s a vile man who likes to rape women. He winds up living a lonely life, since no one wants to date a man like that. Aurora hires soldiers and warriors to teach her how to fight. After a decade of learning she opens her own self defense class and welcomes both men and women to become stronger. She decides that she is happy being single and truly feels fulfilled as she doesn’t need anyone to make her happy. She is already happy.
Belle is not the skinny girl we see. She is a full-figured, curvaceous woman. When the beast (Adam) realizes to end the curse would not only make him human again, but transform Belle into a supermodel. They both fight over what to do? Does he want her to be skinny? Does she want him to be human? Are they being truthful? The more they argue the love they have for one another comes through, the curse is lifted from the servants and Chip runs over, steals the rose, and breaks it. He decides for them, once they realize the choice has been made they are truly happy with each other and deeply in love. The best part they are truly happy with who THEY are!
How did I do? Do you like my version or think I’m crazy?
Which princesses would you rewrite?