Rewriting Disney Princesses

Untitled

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
Spatulas on Parade
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Momisodes
Stacy Sews and Schools
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Disneyland in Kentucky
Southern Belle Charm
The Lieber Family
Someone Else’s Genius
Confessions of a part-time working mom
Climaxed
Battered Hope
Small Talk Mama
Searching for Sanity

Which Disney character do you most identify with and why?

It was submitted by: http://www.smalltalkmama.com    

At first I was freaking out. I don’t really relate to any Disney Characters…the villians are evil, the parents are weird or crazy, and the princesses are too sappy or weak. Okay , Merida was one cool chick and totally bad ass! The other ones, I want to scream at hwo they were written.

Then it hit me….I am going to remake the princesses into feminists who create their own happy endings. Of course I had to go with the princesses that I knew as a girl. If I didn’t list your princess, well it’s because I don’t remember the movie or haven’t seen it.

So here goes, this is how I would have liked the movies to be written and animated.

Dont wait for a hero to come and save you..be a hero and save yourself.. :]

BOLDMATIC.COM https://boldomatic.com/view/post/OCusOw

 

Snow White does NOT eat the poisoned apple…in fact she only eats organic and NON-GMO foods…and the evil witch hired by Monstanto is no match for her. She forces the witch to eat her own chemical apple. The witch sadly develops allergies and the world sees through all of Monsanto’s lies and evil plans.  Snow White decides to change her name to Stella Walker and chooses to NOT marry the prince, but they do live together. She tells him she has a mission, to go off and fight for everyone to have real food. The prince, who we shall name, Jonathan stays home to raise the kids and help the Dwarfs start up and their new house cleaning business, which they name “The Dudes Who Clean”, 

Cinderella has had enough of the abuse and bullying by her step mother and step sisters. She slowly poisons them knowing they will soon go mad. Just as she planned they begin to go insane, and their vile and crude behavior destroys the ball. When the prince comes looking for a match to the shoe, his servants instantly throws her step mothers and sisters in the dungeon for fear they will infect others. The prince sees the glass slipper fits Cinderella and wants to marry her. She turns him down. Seriously why would she marry a man who only cared if she fit a shoe? This man has issues. She inherits her dad’s house and realizes she is great with animals. She becomes a veterinarian and everyone loves and trusts her with their pets. Many years later, Cindy, meets a man with two daughters. They fall in love and get married in a simple ceremony and she becomes a wonderful stepmother and role model.

Rapunzel goes through puberty…realizes this is all bull. She cuts off her hair and sees the witch die. She wonders why she didn’t do that sooner. Sadly she has no idea who she really is, then Flynn happens upon her. He thinks he’s won her over, but she can’t be played anymore. He agrees to find her family if she’ll go on one date with him. Eventually he returns with news of her family and reunites her with them. They do hit if off and Zelly, as she likes to be called, one day trips and gets a terrible scar. As it heals she likes the way it looks. They research this concept, now realizing it’s similar to tattoos. They study and train to become tattoo artists and not only cover themselves in tattoos, but open an ink store. The kingdom is thrilled to have such a hip prince and princess who show that they accept everyone for who they are!

Sleeping beauty is kissed by a stranger…after the kiss he decides he can’t control himself and decides he must have her right now. She wakes up to him trying to take off her clothes. She successfully fights him off much to his shock. He can’t understand why she won’t submit to him, he must have her, she belongs to him now. He tries once more and she breaks his nose and  throws him out the window. She spreads the word that he’s a vile man who likes to rape women. He winds up living a lonely life, since no one wants to date a man like that. Aurora hires soldiers and warriors to teach her how to fight. After a decade of learning she opens her own self defense class and welcomes both men and women to become stronger. She decides that she is happy being single and truly feels fulfilled as she doesn’t need anyone to make her happy. She is already happy. 

Belle is not the skinny girl we see. She is a full-figured, curvaceous woman. When the beast (Adam) realizes to end the curse would not only make him human again, but transform Belle into a supermodel. They both fight over what to do? Does he want her to be skinny? Does she want him to be human? Are they being truthful? The more they argue the love they have for one another comes through, the curse is lifted from the servants and Chip runs over, steals the rose, and breaks it. He decides for them, once they realize the choice has been made they are truly happy with each other and deeply in love. The best part they are truly happy with who THEY are!

How did I do? Do you like my version or think I’m crazy? 

Which princesses would you rewrite? 

About karen

Karen is married to a big kid and mom to a head strong, only child. She is happy with her family of three, along with their spoiled fur baby. Karen works full time as a teacher and still finds time to blog, read, crochet, and cook. Follow along as she enjoys this life.

Comments

Rewriting Disney Princesses — 34 Comments

    • Thanks babe! I was thinking about Ariel, but didn’t remember too much of the movie/story. I was going to write that she Ursala, because of a terrible experience when she was young, was trying to protect Ariel. She then showed Ariel what her life would be like with the human. Then it just got too silly and I had was at a loss….

  1. Hahaha, what a fun remake of the old fairy tales!
    Loved so much about this! Snow White going for the organic food, Cinderella becoming a nice stepmom,…
    So now, where can I hire the “The Dudes Who Clean”?

  2. What a great take on the topic (sorry, that was mine). Great fun reading your remakes. . . but I’m not sure they would ever receive a “G” rating. ha ha. I have a four-year-old so I see lots of Disney, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to looks at the characters the same again.

    • no apologies, it really made me think outside the box…and that’s what this swap is all about. Sometimes the prompts are easy and sometimes you really have to think. I love the challenge and it allowed me to talk about feminism-which is always a plus.

  3. Wonderful way to remake them. Maybe Disney should read this and let you write the stories? Think of all the lives that would be changed when people realized happy endings are what makes them happy, not a preconceived notion of someone else.

  4. Great job and I agree about the crazy parents, villians and whiny princesses. I’d give my make over princess a few tats, maybe a piercing or two, some leather and riding a big hog/motorcycle, amped up 4×4 truck or like me…cruising in a hot convertible 🙂 Making their own way in life, no man needed but if the “right” one come along he’d be glad to hop in for the ride. Strong, independent, determined, goal oriented and confident.

  5. Haha! Those Princesses can really take care of themselves! I have always wondered why the Disney Princess parents are either dead or crazy weird? Well, all except for Rapunzel’s who seem normal, but we only have about 5 minutes with them before the movie ends…

    • You should!!!! I’d love to see what you come up with!

      LOL…thanks babe! We really need princesses that are strong and the heroes and we need princes that value a strong woman.

  6. What a fun idea! Snow White irritates me to no end. From the squeaky voice, to the fact that she rides off with some dude she only met once before. Whenever the kids watch that movie, I always tell them to never do that. And why is it that stepmothers are always shown as evil? What about showing a nice one for once?

Would love to read your thoughts