Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
- http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
- http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
- http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
- http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
- http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
- http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
- http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
- http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Never Ever Give Up Hope
- http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/ Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
- http://www.silenceofthemom.blogspot.com Silence of the Mom
- http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
- http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/ Confessions of a part-time working mom
- http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com The Angrivated Mom
- http://morethancheeseandbeer.blogspot.com More Than Cheese and Beer
- http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
- http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com Climaxed
My subject is “Labor of Love”
It was submitted by http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com
Wow, labor of love, just three words full of so much power and emotion.
We tried for six years. Six years of trying to get pregnant, years of watching diaper and baby food commercials. Six years of being invited to baby showers and first birthdays. Six years of depression knowing it would never happen. Six years of waking up and going through life holding back tears knowing I was not a mom. Six years of sorrow and pain.
Then it was a whirlwind of information about prepping for IVF. It started with classes, then boxes of syringes, hormones, needles, and medicines. I had to organize it all and wondered if it would work, prayed it would, and tried not to fear the worst. I took on months of self-injections and my husband injecting me with hormones. I remember those nights of laying on my stomach, ice pack on my ass, waiting or hubby to give me the nightly injection. At the time it was scary and emotionally draining. Now, it’s sweet memories of a wonderful gift.
Then phone call came. That phone call, that comment that I was pregnant changed everything. A wave of relief washed over me, then fear followed. Would I stay pregnant? Would we be okay? Would I have a healthy baby? As each month passed, my baby grew. I felt him move and kick inside of me. Endless I love yous and continually rubbing my growing stomach started that day. I wrote to him and told him of my everlasting love. I told him I loved him the moment I saw him as a three-day old embryo. Yes I got to see him right before they inserted the embryos into my womb! Isn’t it amazing, looking back on that zoomed in picture…and now comparing him to AJ…what a miracle.
We survived a terrible doctor who refused to treat me correctly for preeclampsia. I should have been on bed rest or at least a work schedule that didn’t have me traveling to different schools. Instead at my 35 week appointment, I was told my baby was not at a great weight and I had to deliver immediately. After being induced and loaded up with all sorts of medicines and finally given an epidural I had an emergency c-section. It was a risk, with all the medicine and my preeclampstia going under the knife was a risk. I didn’t care what happened to me, but I wanted my baby to survive. I delivered at 35 weeks and my poor son was only 4 pounds and 6 ounces. He spent two weeks in the NICU for an inability to swallow and low birth weight.
Some said I was suffering from postpartum depression, others thought I was crazy. Actually I was just angry and grieving that I had to be brought into a locked room to see my son. I was miserable that other mothers on the ward got to hold their babies anytime they wanted and I couldn’t. Watching them in their rooms with their babies and families, as I was wheeled back to my room empty-handed, was torture. I was heartbroken because I had to leave the hospital without my son.
Finally when he was home, I developed repeated breast infections for two months. AJ was never able to latch on, so I kept pumping in vain. It was insane, but self-induced mom guilt forced me to keep going. Once I stopped it, a HUGE weight was lifted off of me. I felt better and really got to enjoy motherhood. I was no longer sick, and could focus on raising a happy and healthy baby boy.
My son, his life, my journey of motherhood is a true labor of love. I am blessed to have experienced it all. I am thankful for my years of sorrow, I feel they make me even happier to be a mom.