Looking Back, I am Thankful for…

thsankful

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Secret Subject Swap

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My subject is: At 14 what were you thankful for and what do you see now that you SHOULD have been thankful for but saw as a nuisance?

It was submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

Twenty-six years ago I would have just turned 14 and been starting high school. My previous years were spent at a Catholic, private school from kindergarten to eighth grade. What would have been thankful for? I would have been thankful starting a new school. Why? I was bullied and tormented my last few years there. I was the butt of jokes, threatened, ignored, and made to feel like crap by other kids. I spent so many years hating myself and hating school. All this happened because of my big nose, a mole above my lip, my curly hair, awkwardness. The worst part is that there was no help. Back then it was all on me and my family. It was our issue to deal with, it was our problem. I was weird, not as pretty, not cool, not with the in crowd, so what could I expect.

What was I thankful for? I was thankful for graduating and starting high school. Instead some of it followed me to high school. Bullies, users, and tormentors can even be in a passive form. They are still guilty of what they are doing by not helping or laughing in the background. The stigma of it followed me.

All I wanted was…

  • to not feel pathetic
  • to not be afraid
  • to make friends that really liked me
  • to not be called names because of my nose, hair, or clothes
  • to not hate myself

 

Looking back, I am thankful for parents who…

  • cared more about my sister and I than being cool
  • wanted to keep us safe
  • spent their money to send my sister and I to a private school
  • devoted their lives to making sure education was valued and important
  • made it clear that my sister and I had to go to college, it was future they both never got to experience
  • parents who knew raising good kids was more important than raising popular kids

After seeing a woman walking down the street, ,my mother said to me that will be you as and adult. What did the woman look like? She was tall with awesome, long, black, curly hair, a maroon business suit, carrying a suitcase and walking like she dominate the world. One of the passive bullies was in the backseat with me, of course I doubt she got what my mom was saying. I doubt she cared. I doubted I would be that beautiful.

My mom was right though. I am beautiful and important. I also don’t care what others think. My self worth does not depend on anyone. I love myself, love who I am, who I was, and who I will become. I LOVE my crazy, curly hair. I love my big, freckled nose. I love my large thighs and hips. I love my stretch marks. I love beauty marks and moles.

I know that every woman on this planet, even the models and actresses have issues with their bodies. I know confidence and beauty does not come from makeup, clothes, and jewelry. That only enhances our beauty, because our beauty comes from within.

I am trying to raise my son to appreciate the beauty within all people. To treat others kindly and respectfully. To love his body. I will NEVER criticize myself in front of my son. Why? First of all it teaches him how to criticize himself. Secondly, if he came from me and I hate the my body, what am I saying about him?

I want him to know how much his actions and words can hurt others. I want him to know the power of kind and loving words and actions. I want him to stand up for others and not be a bully, either passive or aggressive. I want him to be kind to others, but stand up for what’s right. I want him to the beauty in everyone, including himself.


Comments

Looking Back, I am Thankful for… — 10 Comments

  1. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love this post!
    I am so sorry a major part of your school life was beyond miserable – so happy you managed to leave it behind and focus on becoming the awesome lady and Mom that you are today, positive attitude and all! You’ve come a long way, and it was so worth it!

  2. Not only did I relate with your childhood experiences but I have interviewed many women who have gone through this and can now help others as a result. It looks like you did that as well as teaching your children. YOU GO MAMA. Very impressed.

  3. Those teen years are so hard and bullies just make them worse. I’m glad you have a different perspective now and you’re working to instill that in your son.

  4. I’m sorry you were bullied. I pray Gigi never knows that sadness. I’m so grateful you had such fabulous parents. I’m also grateful you grew up to be the woman/blogger/mom that you are. Great use of your subject!!

Would love to read your thoughts