While out at dinner recently it was suggested that I baby or coddle my son too much. While I find that ridiculous, I also feel bad for their kids-were they given ENOUGH attention? I can NEVER give my son enough hugs or kisses. I will never stop explaining things to my son or teaching him. There is nothing wrong with preparing him for something that I know will scare him. Giving him expectations and support will help him grow into a respectful, loving husband and father. In the past I would have been snarky back, now I just smile, thank them for their opinion and continue as I am.
He may be a wild, energetic, determined dinosaur, but he is also loving and sweet. He cares about others’ feelings and always tells us how much he loves us. I know extra hugs and kisses will lead him in that right direction.
Here he is playing with his dinosaurs in the kitchen because he wanted to watch me make breakfast. Then he proceeded to tell me…
Dino: “I’m gonna be big like daddy, with tattoos all over my body.” (Daddy only has two NY Yankee tattoos on his upper arms.)
Mommy: Oh really. I bet you will look so cool, but you have to wait till your eighteen and use your own money for the tattoos.
Dino: Okay, I be big like daddy with tattoos
Yes, I would totally let him get tattoos once he is eighteen, though I would try to persuade him to wait till he’s thirty. So much changes from eighteen to thirty and he may feel differently about a tattoo on his body, but then again he may love what he has. Hopefully, I will have taught him to be happy and love himself, and make good choices. Never judge a book by it’s cover. Never judge a person by what they look like, believe or who they love.
I NEVER want him to value opinions that come from people with evil or hurtful intentions. I want him to value the opinions of those people who have his best intentions at heart and love him. I can honestly say there are just a handful of people whose opinions I value. While I may not always agree with them, I value them because they are important to me and my soul. They know who they are and YES, Dinosaur is one of them. I will listen to others as they may have great advice too, but don’t rely on them as I do my special people. These people are my confidants and supporters; and understand who I really am.
You know who your true supporters are…when you are at your lowest, they embrace and love you…not complain, judge, offer advice or tell their stories. They are just there for you.
The other day is a perfect example of what I am teaching Dinosaur. I walked him up to the park, right near our home. It was empty now that kids are in school. He was having a blast playing with mommy and showing off all his skills. Then a mom, and her personal trainer I guess, came over with her son. The boy, I will call Peter, came running over to play too. His mother and personal trainer stayed near the picnic tables about twenty feet away and exercised while I was left to watch her son.
This is the face of a HAPPY and LOVING boy.
My sweet boy was having a blast, but Peter was bossy and loud. He kept telling my son which steering wheel to use and when to go down the slide. Dinosaur, just having fun, went along with it. After only two minutes, the mother came over and said he had to leave, obviously for more exercises in the next place they had to walk to. She pleaded with her son and begged him, but he refused to move. He wanted to have fun for a while, not just for two minutes.
So she gave in to him, without a thank you to me for watching her son, and went off for more exercises. I continued to watch as Peter got my son to call me a stinky monster (and not in a cute way, in a bratty way) and then started to push him. My son gently pushed Peter’s hands away and continue to play.
But when he did it again I nicely, but firmly told him “No pushing.”
Peter looked at me and stuck his tongue at me.
I sternly looked at him and said, “Do not stick your tongue out at me.”
He looked shocked that someone told him what to do. But he listened and stopped touching my son, but the stinky monster insults continued.
After another twenty minutes his mother came back over, and pleaded with him to leave and he just ignored her. Dinosaur was in shock, now I know he is NOT perfect, but he knows when mommy means business. She threatened to go up and get him about ten times, but they were empty threats and he knew it. I thought I would help her out and told Dino to say goodbye to the boy. My sweet guy kissed and hugged him goodbye. The boy was taken aback, but still did not listen.
Then Dinosaur started acting out and ran past me, I gently held onto him and looked into his eyes. He listened to my calm, but strict words. I told him that I am his mommy and he needs to listen to me. If he can’t listen, then I would take him out of the playground. He nodded and listened, I could see the mom just staring at us wishing her son would listen. As my guy walked to the swings, Peter went down the slide and his mom caught him.
Dinosaur said “Goodbye. See you later.”
Peter responded with “Goodbye stinky boy.” and some other mean words. His mother barely reprimanded him in a rush to get to her next destination. She walked off letting her son know it was okay to insult someone.
My sweet son, said “Okay, bye boy, See you tomorrow.”
I think I am doing a great job as a mom, hugs and kisses only make him a
better boy and one day a better man.
The type of man that will sit next to his child and prepare them for the large fire that will appear as the chef cooks food. He will reassure his child that he/she is safe and nothing will happen to them, but it’s okay to be scared. The type of man that will always tell his child how proud he is of them when they do the right thing in a bad situation or just for being a great kid. The type of man that will model for his child how to be a good person. The type of man that will be the same person the other six days when he is not at church.