August Funny Friday

funny friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/ The Bergham Chronicles

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1. I told you we’d make money selling coffee to the parents. 


2. Come on boys. You’re not scared of a couple of girls, are you? 


3.  Did you see that? Cindy kissed Tommy. Now she has cooties. 


4.  Come and get some Girl Scout Cookies. Look at the parents run like animals. 


5.  I don’t care if you want to leave, Mommy. If you can catch me, I’ll go. May the odds be in your favor. 

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

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Can’t Pay with Pocket Lint

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Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

Your words are:

pennies ~ pocket lint ~ trapped ~ proper ~ back in black ~ munch

They were submitted by:  http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Summer is almost over and that means back to work. Yes, a good thing because I need money, since this pocket lint will not pay the bills or buy groceries. Seems that we only keep saving pennies, not the big bucks we need to really build up a good nest egg.

pennies

It’s annoying to feel trapped by a money, feel trapped going to work everyday and and making just enough to pay bills. Just once I would like to have a good and proper nest, a cushion so we are not living paycheck to paycheck. Don’t get me wrong, we are in way living beyond our means, no we are cutting back on quite a bit. Is is wrong to dream of things going right just once in life?

debtI dream of sitting at home all day, munching on chocolate and cheese, while watching Criminal Minds, Murdoch Mysteries, Law and Order SVU, Bones, American Horror Story, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. In reality I need to get back in black or rather I should say slip on my Merrills and reactivate my Audible account.

tv cllage

Since that will NEVER happen, I will keep working and trying to save. I will keep using coupons and budgeting every aspect of our lives. Maybe just one day it will pay off.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts

Feeling Grateful

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Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

 

My subject is:

What are five things you’re extremely grateful for? What is one thing you wish were true about your life, so you could be grateful for it?

It was submitted by: http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com      

So I have been very naughty and just finished writing this five minutes before it was scheduled to be posted. Sorry if it’s not that great…

1. My son. After all those years of trying to get pregnant and failing. After all those infertility treatments, injections, and hormones I am a mom. I love my son and so grateful I get to be his mom. He has an amazing personality and I know he will make a HUGE difference in this world.fg

2. My husband. Yes he’s a big kid. Yes he’s annoying as all hell and doesn’t know when to stop being a scutch, but I love him. Plus he puts up with me, you can’t beat that.

3. My apartment. Yes, we lost our condo a few years back, but I think it was for the best (for a few reasons). Sure we have a tiny ass apartment, but it has lots of positives. Close to town/Main street, close to AJ/s school, close to his after school program, and many more. You can read more about that here.fg

4. My Parents. You can beat parents like mine. Sure growing up I hated them, every kid thinks they know more than their parents and can do a better job. Looking back I know I was blessed to have them. Now they are amazing grandparents to my son. AJ has a wonderful bond with my dad, one that he will cherish for the rest of his life and one day continue with his grand kids.

5. Summers off. Maybe that sounds a bit selfish. I commute two hours each day to get to and from work and take AJ all over the place for after school activities I am done by 8pm every night. The summer is wonderful, he’s in camp all day while I get to chill, relax, organize, and clean. It;s my wonderful down time and I am enjoy it more than anything. Hubby has been teasing me about being home all day, but during the school year he has a few hours each morning after Anthony goes to school to do what he wants. I only get that for 7 weeks compared to his 10 months.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I wish that we had better credit. I wish we could put our $4,000 deductible on a credit card so we didn’t to do without doctor’s visits, medical care and medicine. Our credit was shot when I was laid off five years ago, we are still recovering from that. Not having to worry about health care would be a huge stress relief.

July Fly on the Wall

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Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes

Participants:

Mommy: AKA Karen, me…the wife and mom 

Daddy: AKA Tony, husband and dad

AJ – our only child, a 7 year old boy who thinks he knows it all and is the one in charge

Bonus – our sweet and lovable adopted rat terrier 

AJ:

As I dropped him off at the Boys and Girls club for summer camp, the assistant director said to Anthony. “You need to tell me a story.”

Why am I not surprised, he tells the best stories with his Italian hands moving all around.

While play wrestling with Daddy, “Take it easy, I’m just 7 years old.”

 

“Oh man, my fart stinks so bad.” then laughs hysterically

AJ never lets me rub his head, back, or kiss him unless it’s on his terms. Of course, when he’s sick or hurt kisses are must and back rubs are essential for a good night’s sleep.

So the other morning I said to him. “At least Bonus lets me kiss her.”

AJ: “That’s because she’s a dog and can’t wipe off your kisses. She doesn’t know she can do that.”

Well excuse the F out of me dude.

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This then led to another question during a nature show. An animal was giving brith, I don’t remember what mammal, but Anthony looked at me and said. “I though babies came out of the stomach, that baby didn’t come out of the stomach.

I knew were this was going.

“Yes, well when animals give birth the babies come out of the mommy’s vagina.” He looks at me in a combination of shock, horror, and disgust.

“What? But I came out of your stomach.”

“Well that’s because they had to cut you out because you were born early. Sometimes that happens and other times they come out of the vagina.”

Thankfully no questions about how the babies go tin there. Though if they did I would have had no issues in giving him direct answers that are

I have been trying to be more patient with AJ and not raise my voice. Today during his haircut he asked for a lollipop. Since it was not yet 12 noon, the barber said are you sure your mom will be okay with it. He swore I would be.

Of course I told him he had to each his lunch first. He groaned, but once we got int he car I knew I was going to hear major begging.

“I need to eat it now.”
“No, you have to have lunch first.”
“But I’m starving and I really want it.”
“I gave you my answer and the conversation is over.”
“I want it now!”
“Asked and answered.”
“I WANT IT NOW, MOMMY.”
“Asked and answered.”
“But, Mommy. I want it now. It’s mine and I should be able to eat it now.”
“Asked and answered.”
“Stop saying that. I want it now.”
“Asked and answered.”
“OH MY GOD, STOP SAYING THAT MOMMY. I AM GOING TO SAY THAT TOO NOW. ASKED AND ANSWERED. I WANT IT YOU MEAN MOMMY. IT’S MINE. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” Then he screams at the top of his lungs and glares at me. Five seconds later we are pulling into the driveway.

He DID put it on the counter and eat all his lunch first. I told him I was proud of him for not opening it anyway and eating it.

 

 

 

Counting Down the Days

days couting

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using:

Plastic ~ Grandpa ~ Humming ~ Behind ~ Exchange ~ Lessor

They were submitted by: http://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

I can’t wait to go on vacation, seriously, I need to get away. I don’t want to do laundry, cook, or clean. I love where we go, as all the meals are included and there is always something fun for AJ to do. In fact, there is always a nighttime event for kids, so AJ is exhausted at night and sleeps late the next morning…which is a heaven.

I might just start humming as the days get closer and  I know I can just enjoy this time. When are we going? Sorry, can’t tell you that. I don’t think it’s safe at all to tell ANYONE when we are going on vacation. I don’t care if someone is staying behind watching our house or not. I just don’t believe it’s safe in letting the internet know you are out of town and basically inviting criminals to break in and rob us blind.

Some say it’s an expensive vacation and we could find a place to go that would be a lessor cost. The fact that we don’t have worry about meals or finding daily activities is a blessing. We do bring a snacks and plastic water bottles, in case we get the munchies in the early morning or late nights.

Though perhaps next summer we might exchange our normal plans for a different place, We’ll have to see what AJ thinks, since the vacations are all about him, right?

We would like to invite our parents, but it can be quite expensive for Grandmas and Grandpas. Though, it would be nice to have extra people to watch Anthony so mommy and daddy can get some quiet time for dinner or to just sleep!

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts

Nothing Personal, But…

peronal

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

My subject is:

“Nothing personal, but…”

It was submitted by: http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

Warning this post contains cursing. This prompt was like a loaded weapon, there were so many ways I could go with this and all included rage and cursing.

Nothing personal, but you are a major a** hat. Why? This is why…

Learn how to make a left turn…you are NOT supposed to drive over the yellow line. You are not the only person on the road douche drinker.

Since we are speaking about left turns genius, don’t pull all the way out so you can make a left turn after the light turns red. YOU ARE KEEPING ME FROM MAKING MY LEFT TURN when I get the arrow f*ckface.

Please use your flipping signal moron, we are not mind readers sh*t head.

Just so you know, driving practically on my bumper won’t make me go past the speed limit. In fact, it will only make me drive slower if I have some extra time. While your chilling behind me, why don’t you eat your own *ss.

Oh and while your at it, take that phone you are talking and texting on and shove it straight up your dumb *ss.

I really don’t care how much your car cost, you DO NOT own the road or are more important than anyone else. In case you haven’t noticed, your shit stinks like everyone else’s you arrogant f*ck.

Clean off your damn car when it snows. It’s not only dangerous and stupid, it’s illegal numb-nuts. I swear if my car gets damaged by your uncleaned ice, I will hunt you down and hurt you.

Yes, I need to be careful when I pull out of a spot in the parking lot, but that DOES’T mean you can walk behind my car after I start pulling out you c*nt. Are you looking to have your dumb *ss run over?

Don’t hit the pedestrian button then walk againt the light. Now the safe to walk sign comes on and there is no one there. So we all sit here int he car and wait for it to stop. Do you know how f*cking annoying that is? How rude and stupid is that? If you are going to hit the f*cking button than wait for it you f*ckface b*astard.

Okay, lets leave the road. Stop getting so upset by what you see on Facebook, ESPECIALLY if YOU have no problem posting all your religious and political opinions you selfish tw*t.

Speaking of selfish, clean up your dog’s sh*t f*cker. Seriously, that is one of the responsibilities of a being a dog owner. Don’t leave the dog’s shit on grass during walks or in the dog park. Most of all don’t pick it up just to leave the bag there. Stop being an arrogant d*ck.

Stop attacking other parents online. Seriously, you are FAR FROM PERFECT. We can’t be there like a hawk and when we are we are called helicopter parents. Parents made a tons of mistakes, accidents happened, and kids make stupid choices ALL BEFORE SOCIAL MEDIA. Now all the “perfect parents” and those who THINK they would make perfect parents are ready for the attack. No matter what parents do they are in the wrong and blamed for something. We have enough of our own guilt and stress, we don’t need to deal with you weirdos, freaks, and f*ckers. I doesn’t matter who breastfeeds or bottle feds, who works or doesn’t, who is an organic mom and who buys pre-made meals. Sure voice your opinions, but don’t attack or guilt. As long as our kids are loved and make it to adulthood without being a complete and utter *sshole that is all that matters.

Okay, I feel better now!

Anything you would add????

Funny Friday June

funny friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by  ME!!!!!!! Karen from http://dinoheromommy.com/

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1. On the next episode of Extreme Couponing…”Getting the kids to Help”.

2.  What mess, Mommy? I don’t see a mess.


3.  Why are you crying, Mommy?


4. This is why mommy hides in the bathroom, drinks wine, and eats chocolate


5.   I don’t understand why he doesn’t get out over for play dates anymore? 

 


Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

 

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June Fly on the Wall

FOTWWWW2

Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes

Participants:

Mommy: AKA Karen, me…the wife and mom 

Daddy: AKA Tony, husband and dad

AJ – our only child, a 7 year old boy who thinks he knows it all and is the one in charge

Bonus – our sweet and lovable adopted rat terrier 

AJ:

Watching Kindergarten Cop

  1. The scene where the criminal dad is trying to get his son to remember him. “Look our hands are the same.”

AJ yells at the TV, “Hes stupid, everyone has the same hands. ‘

2. At the end of the movie AJ looks at me and says. “So basically he saved everyone. Good ending.”

“I’m growing.”

“Yes, you are growing.”

“I’m growing like a beast.”

“My birthday is in two days. It’s literally like today.”

Went to the Yale Peabody Museum for his birthday and he LOVED it. He’s been there twice before, but loved showing his mommy and daddy around.

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AJ loved his Star Wars birthday party. Since this is the last big party we are giving him, we wanted it to rock. We had Jocko the magician at the party and he was awesome. Anthony even did his opera singing, which the magician worked into his act.

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AJ: “You’re so mean. You need to apologize to me right now.”(In response to not getting what he wanted and getting a punishment for acting out)

Mommy: “Glad you think I’m mean and no I am not going to apologize for being a parent. I love you too much to let you act like this and turn into a jerky adult.”

Soemtimes he will call my mother “Mommy” since there are some similarities. My mother said it’s okay, I am your Mommy’s mommy.

AJ replied with, “I still can’t believe your my Mommy’s mommy.”

AJ & Bonus:

After Bonus dropped off by the sitter, the sitter said to me. “Boy this is one is a princess.”

It’s so true, Bonus will turn her nose up at lots of food, if it’s too big, too round, too crunchy, too square, too chewy, or is a dog treat or kibble. She will only eat canned dog food and all the chunks must be made into smaller pieces. If not she will bring them around the house and leave them on the couch and floor for us to deal with as punishment.

She will cry if she doesn’t get attention she thinks she deserves at the moment she wants it. As long as she is getting cuddled and can lick/clean AJ she is happy.

PicMonkey Collage

 

Always Shake Out Your Clothes

shake
Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using:

wedding ~ disaster ~ loud ~ gardening ~ sunflowers

They were submitted by: http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html

Nothing like realizing the next day is the Use Your Words post and not only do you have nothing written, but you can’t find the email. Note that this is NOT the first time that has happened. I think Karen should start charging me for losing emails. Normally I do create the post as soon as I get her email, but there are times I am incredibly busy or lazy.

As I type this I am thinking what in the hell am I going to write up for the post? Then as I stare at the words, and keeping staring, take a drink of seltzer and keep staring all I can picture if a messed up wedding.

Now I am picturing my backyard garden…well sort of. Since we rent I can’t around gardening all over the property. Instead I create small gardens in plastic pools. I drill holes in the bottom to let out extra water and the plants and herbs flourish. I am really late in starting this. I need to get my but in gear. I really loved having fresh herbs and tomatoes. One day, down the road I woudl love to have a huge garden with big, bright sunflowers, lilies, daisies, and tulips. Don’t mock my flower choices!

Wasps! Yes I just typed the word wasp, it popped in my head so I typed it. Thinking of all these plants and herbs got me thinking about bees, then wasps, then the time Anthony got stung indoors. Before AJ’s karate teacher set up his own Dojo, we had to take classes out of the local rec center. I had thrown both our jackets on the floor to watch him during class. Then when it was over I held out his jacket for him to put on. All of a sudden he emits a loud scream of bloody murder, I pull off the jacket thinking it’s leftover hay from the weekend and a huge wasp flies out. What a disaster my poor baby is in horrible pain. I was so thankful to the parents who helped.

Never leave your jackets on the floor and if you do, ALWAYS shake them out. You just never know what has crawled or flew inside of them. It took him months to even look at that jacket again.

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waspp

So there you go, a post that started out with no direction, lead into a garden and ended with AJ making it through a terrifying wasp sting.

 

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts

Time for a Change

Untitled

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

My subject is:

After reading your blog, the President nominates you to pick yet another new face to place on American currency. He doesn’t tell you which bill or coin will be involved and asks you to write something on your blog (which he now follows) to let him know who you’re choosing and why. He gives you a few rules–it must be someone fairly well known who showed great character in American history and who exhibits the kind of timeless values that most people globally could connect with. What does your essay say?

It was submitted by: Jenny http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Just a note, I apologize if this is not as well written as it should be or totally off topic. I’ve been really focused on AJ’s birthday today and party the next day. Can’t believe my little man is 7!!!!

 

Well thank your for choosing me to decide which women are worthy of being on American currency. You chose well as I feel HIStory often forgets about the women who didn’t just help in the background, but shaped and changed our future.

There are so many powerful, courageous, and determined women in American history who need to be honored. While I don’t think the American presidents should be pushed aside, I do feel that times have changed and our country was built on more than just he presidents.

Mr. President, I don’t agree with the fairly well known and showed great American character bit, I mean there are a lot of men and women who are not as well known because this country likes to change textbooks and make their own version of history. Seriously, if it was up to the forefathers, women would still not vote and still be only seen as wives to their men. Most amazing men and women are often left out of history, because it’s not suitable to kids, or fits the curriculum, or fanatics want to burn books, or the protesters were not white men who wanted to keep the status quo of America.

I think the idea of certain months to celebrate certain races or genders is ludicrous…It’s all history and should be treated as such. We need to know ALL the facts, all the stories, all the horrors so that we CAN change the nurture and not repeat the same always mistakes over and over.

Though will it ever change? I mean, we live in a society where commercials advertise half naked women to sell food, cars, and businesses. Clothing is getting smaller and thinner and women are walking around with their breasts all but hanging out, and society loves it. Though if a mother breast feeds her baby in any of those places, she is a vile, disgusting human being who should ashamed of herself. So it’s safe to say the idea of putting a women on our American currently is an outrage. Look at the outrage of having Harriet Tubman on a bill caused.

I think there are many deserving men and women in American history, some well-known, others not as well-known or liked because of their desire to speak out and stand up for others everywhere.

Here are a list of women who I feel have changed history for the better. I wanted to list many more, but I would never have stopped writing then. What do you think? Did I leave someone out? 

Abigail Adams – Wrote letters to her husband and tried to have a hand in government through the letters. She also tried to get her husband to remember the ladies when starting our new nations, but of course only the men were included in the rights of the nation.

Susan B. Anthony – spent 60 years fighting for women to have the right to vote.

Lydia Maria Child: an abolitionist, suffragist, and advocate for the rights of Native Americans.

Shirley Chisholm – the first African-American woman elected to Congress, the first major-party black candidate for president of the United States, and the first woman to run for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Amelia Earhart: the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean, Earhart inspired a generation of female pilots.

Rosa Parks – her decision and strength in not giving into fear sparked a much needed change in history

Alice Paul – a suffragist who refused to cower to fear and did what it took so women could have the right to vote

Sandra Day O’Connor: the first female justice on the Supreme Court of the United States, she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama in 2009.

Eleanor Roosevelt: an active champion of civil rights, she supported the United Nations and was directly involved in the drafting of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton: an abolitionist, suffragist, and co-organizer (with Lucretia Mott) of the first women’s rights convention at Seneca Falls, she wrote the Declaration of Sentiments, which outlined women’s rights as human rights.

Sojourner Truth: a former slave who became an itinerant preacher, abolitionist, and suffragist.

Mercy Otis Warren: called “the Conscience of the American Revolution,” Warren was one of the chief intellectuals of the early republic. In addition to penning numerous political tracts and the first history of the Revolution, she also laid out the principles of the Bill of Rights.

Besides my love of insane, crime thrillers, I also love American Historical Fiction, perhaps you would also enjoy these two books. Think about all the people behind the scenes who shaped our government.

The Midwife’s Revolt and Our Own Country. The third book, from Johnny’s POV will be coming out soon. Who is Johnny? Well you will have to read to find out.