November Funny Friday

funny friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Not That Sarah Michelle (http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com)

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1. Love Is Love.  


2. The fight for the remotes ended with them falling asleep. They were teased mercilessly the next morning. 


3.  When the humans leave… 


4.  Humans have Netflix and chill, we have Animal Planet and cuddle  


5.  Finally the humans are asleep we can finally watch what we want.  

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

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Fly on the Wall

FOTWWWW2

Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes

Participants:

Mommy: AKA Karen, me…the wife and mom 

Daddy: AKA Tony, husband and dad

AJ – our only child, a 7 year old boy who thinks he knows it all and is the one in charge

Bonus – our sweet and lovable adopted rat terrier 

Told him he needed to eat his dinner or I was going to throw it out, he left it sitting there for 30 minutes. When he finally started eating, I asked “Do you like it?”

He responded, “Lil’ bit.”

Has my son been watching Robert Dinero movies?????

Taking his time getting ready to leave. I finally yelled at him, let’s go.

He snarked back with “Hold on Missy/”

I told him I signed him up for the Halloween party at the after school program.

“How much did it cost?”

“Fifteen dollars.”

“That’s not bad.”

Really, who is this kid?

At the local pharmacy picking up a prescription eye drops for pink eye…sighs…for both of us.

AJ is going on and on about how Tony ate his huge Hershey bar form from four years ago.

“Dude, let it go already. You’ve gotten enough candy to make up for it.”

The pharmacist smiles, but then tries to hodl back laughter when she hears this….

“Tuna is from a plant.”

“No it’s not. It’s a fish, you know, tuna fish.”

“Well my teacher says it’s from a plant.”

“I think you might heard of heard wrong. I think your teacher knows that tuna is a fish.”

AJ is eating a croissont and a piece of it falls to the floor. Since he loves them so much he steps on it to prevent Bonus from getting it. Then quickly puts it in his mouth.

I stared at him in horror and after a second he looks at me and cringes. “I didn’t mean to do that.” As he runs to the garbage to spit it out. 

“Perhaps if you just let Bonus have it you wouldn’t have eaten your own foot stink.” 

Tony is with AJ in the mornings and at times has epic battles to get ready for school. He told him one morning, “Put your shoes and socks on.” Since someone was a zombie in front of the TV.

My snarky kid responded with, “Well obviously Daddy, I have to put my clothes on first.” 

Tony said he had to take a deep breath and walk away. Of course he came back to a 7 year old standing in front of the TV fully dressed sans socks and shoes. ***eye twitches*** 

As Tony was dropping off AJ in the car line AJ was complaining about getting out five cars back. Tony told him he has to wait till they are the 2nd car, no excuses. AJ did not like this and was complaining the entire time. When they finally were the second car, AJ jumped out and screamed, “Thank God, fresh air!” Of course the custodian and police officer who handle drop off heard AJ scream, I mean how could they not? They looked at Tony and smirked. 

I had a talk with AJ about. He of course thought it was super funny. I had to keep my poker face, but I have to to agree with him. It was hysterical. I would have loved to been a fly in that car.

This really did make my day!!!!!

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Storm Preperation

use-your-words

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using:

run ~ lantern ~ storm ~ create ~ eat ~ now

They were submitted by: http://Bakinginatornado.com 

Must we seriously have Christmas decorations out in stores before Halloween every ended??? It’s so annoying. Every time I go into a store with AJ he kept asking about buying something Christmas. My response is that I refuse to acknowledge that the products are even out yet. I got a few chuckles from other moms.

I want to run up and down the aisles knocking every item off the shelf. Imagine how fun and liberating that would be. I can dream, can’t I?

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Right now, besides trying to get ready mentally and physically for the holidays, I need to start prepping for the cold weather. We need to stock up on basics incase a storm ensues and we are out of, God forbid, bread and milk,  What would we eat?????? shrieks in terror.

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Sorry, I couldn’t t help it. Though it’s good to have the basics during the months of possible snow storms. I try to create a pantry of peanut butter, jelly, bread, crackers, protein bars. I also like to have hummus, cheese, crackers, tuna fish, and lots milk. I should start preppingh now as you never know when I storm might hit. Tony is the one who preps all the safety items, flashlights, candles, and lanterns.

 Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

Stuff of Nightmares

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Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

secret-subject-swap-baking-in-a-tornado

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Thanksgiving . . . you wake up and YOU are the main course, how do you convince your family that YOU are the turkey/ham and for them NOT to cook you?

It was submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

warning, this post might make you gag…or shiver, or laugh with me in demented glory. This was suck and awesome prompt, I couldn’t help but take it in this direction. The story I was going to write, was even gorier and I couldn’t finish it. 

Whoa this prompt is like an episode right out of American Horror Story. Have you seen this season? There is a big part that involves cannibalism. Seriously, people slicing other people up and forcing other victims to eat the sliced up skin and muscles.

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http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/american-horror-story-season-6-roanoke-twist-cast-gaga-episode-8-9-928472

Ready to barf yet?

So as I read this prompt that is all I could think about and I threw up in my mouth imagining myself in that situation. Then I thought about all the sick and twisted thrillers I have read. Messed up murders that systematically torture and rip apart victims, remove organs while they are still alive. But to imagine myself as the victim is just too much.

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Then I thought about those few stories I heard about anesthesiologists messing up and the patients feeling everything on the operating table. Imagine being strapped to a table, unable to speak and you feel every slice, rip, tear, snip, organs being pulled and cut, then sewed back up. It’s a flipping horror movie, or right out of one of the books I read.

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So the thought of being on the table sliced and served up as dinner made me sick to my stomach. Though it would make a great prompt for vegetarians and vegans, they could finally get people to stop eating meat.

I would pray for quick and painless death instead of a slow and torturous demise.

Sorry if eating turkey, stuffing, gravy, and cranberry sauce has forever been ruined…well I’m not that sorry. Actually I’m giggling at your horror! 

September Funny Friday

funny friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/ The Bergham Chronicles

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1. I’m so going to win best Halloween costume.  


2. I don’t know what mommy is talking about, I AM helping with the laundry. 


3.  Screw this, I rather wear granny undies with loose sweat pants. 


4.  How the hell do I get this bathing suit on?  


5.  But you said I could pick out my clothes for school today.  

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

 

  • http://www.BakingInATornado.com          Baking In A Tornado
  • http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/               Spatulas on Parade
  • http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/     The Bergham Chronicles
  • http://measurementsofmerriment.blogspot.com     Measurements of Merriment
  • http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com                Not That Sarah Michelle

]

Queen In My Own Mind

use-your-words

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using:

Great minds think alike ~ Hippocampus ~ Queen ~ Star

They were submitted by: http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com  

Okay, another crazy rant of an overworked and exhausted mom. I hope this makes sense as you read the following.

What a collection of words, right? I actually had to look up hippocampus, I knew it was in the brain, but not sure what it did. According to numerous sites…. “The hippocampus is a small region of the brain that forms part of the limbic system and is primarily associated with memory and spatial navigation.” Okay, does that mean I have a small hippocampus because I am a huge klutz and can’t remember crap. Or maybe that is mom brain, or do moms have smaller hippocampuses after they have their first kids. Does each kid make the hippocampus even smaller, or it just shrinks once? I know I keep typing hippocampus, but it’s a funny word.

In all seriousness though, in diseases like Alzheimers, the hippocampus is the first to be damaged. To lose all your memories and not recognize family is truly debilitating and horrific.

Do you have a friend that when you just look at them you know you are on the same page. Well if you are, then great minds think alike. Okay, I know that was pretty lame. But seriously, don’t you love when you and your friend have the same ideas, you just know its meant to be. A good friend can make you feel like the Queen of life or the star of the show. Good friends don’t want to out shine you or embarrasses you. Rather they will join in your embarrassment or save the day.

Perhaps one day you were dancing like fools in the car, not trying to outdo each other, but make each other laugh and enjoy the moment. Or perhaps you and your friend were making fools of yourselves in Home Good. It couldn’t be helped when one of you saw the huge, red, round ornament. Who could have predicted that the older woman would be walking around the corner at the same time you were being lewd with the ball. No fear, it only made the moment even funnier.

I apologize for any hippocampus shrinking after reading this.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

Someone Has To Do It

shtdi

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

secret-subject-swap-baking-in-a-tornado

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

My subject is:

How do you manage to get things done that you absolutely hate doing?

It was submitted by: http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

 

Exercising: Need help committing to exercising. During the week I get up at 5:10 and leave the house by 6:35. I don’t get home till 4, some days I don’t get home till 5:30. It’s a long day of teaching and driving to schools. By the time I get home I am mentally and psychically done, so how the hell do I fit exercise in there??????

Lunches: I hate making lunches, seriously it’s no monotonous and annoying. When Anthony was in kindergarten I tried to make all those cute lunches you see on pinteretst, then realized 1. Who has the bloody time with a full time job 2. It’s all getting shoved in his mouth and he’s shitting it out in the toilet, so does it matter how cute it is? 3. He could care less if I leave him a note or not. So I just just make a sandwich, give him two snacks and throw in a juice and he’s good to go.

Cleaning: I hate cleaning and wish I had money to toss around. I would hire a cleaning lady again. It was lovely coming home to clean and organized house. Now it’s all up to me and I don’t like it. I’m tired of smelling piss all over the toilet, I’m tired of cleaning up messes and spills. I’m tired of cleaning period!

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Grocery Shopping: I wish I could afford to hire a personal shopper. I was planning to use one this year, but things did not pan out the way I had hoped. After commuting and working all week, I just want to come home to a the shopping already done. Peapod just grabs the items and brings them to you without really checking them out or picking the best. The service and quality of the products are beyond terrible.

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Laundry: So much flipping laundry, I never have anything put away at all. Except that one week when Tony is away at boy scout camp over the summer and Anthony y is in camp. It’s just me so that is one the one week there is NEVER any laundry out. The other 358 days of the year we have more laundry to put away and wash all at the same time. How does that flipping happen. By the time they clothes are dried there are two more baskets of laundry to be done. Why even bother putting it all away….sobs as I think about it.

laundry

September Friday Funny

funny friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

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Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com Not That Sarah Michelle

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1. Humans have such short memories. All I have to do is wait it out and she’ll think the cat tore up the couch and rug. 


2. Yeah nice try, Mommy. I ain’t falling for that again. Dogs don’t need baths. We’re supposed to smell like other animal’s poop.


3.  I can’t believe Buddy fell for that trick. Doesn’t he know unless she says dog park it’s really the vet for shots. Last time she brought me there I lost what makes me a man. She’ll never find me in here. I may lose an eye or leg or this time. 


4.  I’ll teach that cat a lesson. As soon as he rests on the edge I’ll jump out and scare the crap out of him. Maybe he’ll lose one of his stupid lives. 


5. I didn’t mean to eat the two pies on the table. Seriously, who leaves pies out when they know I am can reach them. If they think I’m lost and search for me, when I come back home they’ll be so happy they will have forgotten about the pies. Yup, I have the best plans. 

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

 

]

Fly on the Wall

FOTWWWW2

Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes

 

Participants:

Mommy: AKA Karen, me…the wife and mom 

Daddy: AKA Tony, husband and dad

AJ – our only child, a 7 year old boy who thinks he knows it all and is the one in charge

Bonus – our sweet and lovable adopted rat terrier 

 I had a computer issue and never posted August’s Fly on the Wall. So I am including new stuff and some things from August’s posts.

Me: “How come this Lego guy doesn’t have an arm?”

AJ: Rolls his eyes at me. “We don’t talk about that.”

While all hugging as a family

Tony: “I smell a mommy and an AJ. AJ smells like dirty and chocolate and Mommy smells like olive oil and cleaning products.

AJ: “No, Mommy smells like an angel.”

While driving home from after school he began to talk.

AJ: “Halloween is coming soon. I love all the holidays, except Valentine’s Day.”

Me: “Why don’t you like Valentines Day?”

AJ: “Because of that guy.”

Me: “What guy?”

Rolls his eyes “You know, the guy who flies around and makes people kiss. Yoiu know, Mommy, Cupid. Kissing is gross.”

Out at dinner with my sister-in-law and her husband. They were asking AJ some questions as he seemed tired or upset. By the looks on his face, you could tell he was getting more pissed with each question. I took him outside to see what was really wrong.

“I’m 7 years old. I don’t need everybody asking me all these questions. I’m not a baby.”

Boy when he’s in a mood we all suffer, LOL.

AJ walked around Rocking Horse Ranch as if he was the one in charge. He loved when staff talked to him and reminded them that he’s been there before.

“I come here every year. I know all about this place.”

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“I did it! I went down the slide. I am so awesome.”

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When you’re too tired to eat, but really want that brownie.

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He got picked to go on stage for LET’S MAKE A DEAL. It was one of the many awesome moments of vacation. No matter how much money he was offered ($7) he still wanted what was under the box. He won an cool Rocking Horse Ranch Tumblr!

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Stay Off The Bus

use-your-words

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using:

weed ~ golden pot ~ school ~ educational video ~ The Magic School Bus

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/   

I laughed at the collection of words! Seriously, how awesome of a mix. There was so many ways I could write this. We all think The Magic School Bus was an amazing television how that made science awesome and fun for kids. It made kids want to learn. We regard it as educational videos, but instead it could just be a delusion brought on by smoking some really heavy weed.

Think about it, the big yellow bus could symbolize a huge golden pot filled with weed. Each kid could symbolize a stereotype in life and the teacher, Mr. Fizzle is the dealer. She’s driving around getting people hooked on her magic bus.  The students are happy to get out of school, or rather their soul-sucking jobs, and space out on that magical bus.

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Come on the bus! I have special brownies for you!

Even better, they should make this an American Horror Story Episode. You are trapped on the a magical bus that shrinks you and takes you to disgusting places where the terror is nothing you could have ever imagined in your worst nightmares. All you can do is keep smoking the weed and hope you wake up-but you never do. Or one by one, Ms. Frizzle makes you live out your worst nightmares and you die slowly and painfully.

15-times-ms-frizzle-from-the-magic-school-bus-sho-2-564-1402679888-22_dblbig

Once you get on the bus, you can never get off.

Perhaps the worst thing that could happen is a porn is made off this. I really hope there isn’t one already. Isn’t it sad that there are people who say, “Oh wow, what a cool show or movie. I know how to make it even better, let’s turn it into porn.”

Yup, I totally went off on a tangent and made no sense. I am overworked with little sleep. No, I have NEVER smoked pot or taken any drugs. I just have a weird imagination.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts: