There will be no reading post today…in light of our dog, Balboa’s passing. Instead I will be writing a letter to our sweet boy.
I love you dearly, you were our baby long before having a child was even possible. I spoiled you from the beginning and I never regretted it.
I remember when Daddy first brought you home, you were so tiny and scared. I refused to leave you in the kitchen alone, you had to be in my bed with me. You immediately held onto my arm as you slept. You KNEW I was your Mommy.
Everyone fell in love with you, how could they not? You were cute, sweet, cuddly, and loved to give kisses. You did not like being a dog, you knew in your heart you were our furry child.
Even when we brought Anthony home and too often you had to wait for affection, you still loved us. You loved to play tug with Anthony and would happily chase after toys we threw.
You loved when Daddy would rub your belly, the joy was all over your face.
You loved your kisses and hugs.
You loved to sit in the sun’s rays, sorry you missed that when we moved to our small apartment.
You loved to lick the sweat off Daddy’s legs.
Anytime someone got off the couch, you immediately took their spot to not only feel the warmth, but to show you could do whatever you wanted.
Even though you peed on Anthony’s bed a few times, we still deeply love you.
You loved to press your body against ours at night, truly cuddling with us. If you were lucky you got between our legs making it impossible for us to move at all.
Whether we were gone for twenty minutes or six hours, you welcomed us home with love and joy.
Tearing apart boxes brought you so much joy, of course we had to clean up the mess.
Even toys labeled as indestructible, were no match for you. If it had a soft inside, it ended up in your tummy.
The vet said you had the best teeth. I knew the “chew chews” bones filled with peanut butter would benefit your pearly whites.
A flashlight on the walls drove you mad, you just wanted to eat it.
We loved your enthusiasm for peanut butter and cheese…heck, you’d eat anything. We loved how you tried to protect us from all those crazy leaves…what a brave dog.
You loved Anthony’s giggles when you’d kiss him over and over.
I am sorry I didn’t pay better attention to your symptoms…I wish I hadn’t chalked up your extra grunts and snorts as you just being you… You weren’t having seizures, your body was in pain because of your megaesaphagus. I wish the neurologist had taken the time to look a little closer. I wish you were still here, running, snorting, jumping, licking, talking, and cuddling with us.
I’m sorry that we were in Florida when your body took a turn for the worse. I’m sorry that it would be too painful for you to wait for us to get back home. I wanted to hold you in my arms as you started your journey to heaven with God. While I’m glad that you had wonderful nurses and doctors to love you as you fell asleep, I wish it was me that held you. I’m sorry that I was not there when you needed me the most. For that I will always feel guilty.
We will always love you and miss you, our hearts will have a small hole just for you…one day we will meet again and play with and cuddle with…I can’t wait to kiss you again my sweet boy.
For now run free my sweet boy. Run, jump, snort, sneeze, snort, talk, chase those leaves, sniff other dogs, eat all the cheese and peanut butter you want, cuddle and feel safe in God’s arms. I know you will watch over us and I am so thankful we have you as our guardian angel dog.
Love Always Mommy, Daddy, and Anthony