A Recent Challenge???

SSS collage (2)

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

Baking In A Tornado

The Momisodes

Spatulas on Parade

Confessions of a part-time working mom

Juicebox Confession

Evil Joy Speaks

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

Follow me home . . .

Someone Else’s Genius

Crumpets and Bollocks

Stacy Sews and Schools

Climaxed

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

 

Tell me about a recent challenge you experienced. How did you learn and grow from it?

It was submitted by: http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of what to write…I am truly at a loss this time. I know I have faced challenges currently and in the past, but just can’t think or write about any of them.

All I can think about is our Balboa, who we recently lost. I knew there would be a day this would happen…but never expected it so soon. He was my baby before I thought I could have a child. He refused to believe he was a dog, he thought he was our baby…and he knew we were his parents. It’s going to take a long time for us to stop crying and accept that he is gone. Perhaps one day we will adopt another dog, perhaps when we won’t compare him/her to Balboa, because that’s not fair.

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We were in Florida just last week. It was a wonderful trip for our son. Hubby and I went with my parents, but it was bittersweet as our sick Balboa was boarding at the vet. We DID have a good time, Dino got to experience and remember Disney…last time he was just one years old.

We sure did luck out, it was cloudy and rainy. How is that lucky? Disney is flipping hot with little cover from the sun. So having rain and clouds make the heat somewhat tolerable.

Dino got on quite a bit of rides and got to see the parade. He loved every minute of his time in Disney. He also got to see family in Florida…he was so happy to see all his cousins.

See? Bittersweet vacation, while we had a great time we knew Balboa was sick, then it turned out he was sicker than we originally thought.

I think we will always remember our Disney trip as the one where we lost Balboa.

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The challenge is…

  • getting back into our routine without Balboa
  • dealing with never kissing him goodbye each time we leave
  • never getting welcomed home with snorting love and kisses
  • never worrying about how long we’ll be gone or when to get home to take him out
  • passing by the pet isles knowing I don’t need to buy anything
  • getting used to the silence…no grunts, snorts, or slobbers
  • helping Dino understand that Mommy and Daddy are not dying
  • helping Dino understand that Balboa is happy and pain free in heaven with all the other angel dogs
  • helping Dino understand that while Balboa may visit us or send signs, he is not coming back to life or going to scare us as a ghost
  • not having a dog to alert me to noises and people on my property (even though he would probably play with anyone…I felt safe knowing he was always aware of any sounds or people)
  • making a peanut butter sandwich or apple with peanut butter and not having to give Balboa some in his chew chew
  • not having to share my food every time I eat
  • dealing with a hole in our hearts and an emptiness in our house

 

I am trying to figure out how to learn and grow from this. One day we’ll be doggie parents again. Right now we will never get another French Bulldog, because Balboa was beyond exceptional…no other Frenchie could compare and we would always hold them up to Balboa’s standards.

We will adopt a doggie in the future…a young dog, who needs love and would be okay with a wild and loud boy. We will adopt a doggie, who needs a forever home and wants to be loved, spoiled, and treated like a member of the family. We will adopt a doggie who will always have a Frenchie guardian angel.

 

Dear Balboa

There will be no reading post today…in light of our dog, Balboa’s passing. Instead I will be writing a letter to our sweet boy.

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Dear Balboa,

I love you dearly, you were our baby long before having a child was even possible. I spoiled you from the beginning and I never regretted it.

I remember when Daddy first brought you home, you were so tiny and scared. I refused to leave you in the kitchen alone, you had to be in my bed with me. You immediately held onto my arm as you slept. You KNEW I was your Mommy.

Everyone fell in love with you, how could they not? You were cute, sweet, cuddly, and loved to give kisses. You did not like being a dog, you knew in your heart you were our furry child.

Even when we brought Anthony home and too often you had to wait for affection, you still loved us. You loved to play tug with Anthony and would happily chase after toys we threw.

You loved when Daddy would rub your belly, the joy was all over your face.

You loved your kisses and hugs.

You loved to sit in the sun’s rays, sorry you missed that when we moved to our small apartment.

You loved to lick the sweat off Daddy’s legs.

Anytime someone got off the couch, you immediately took their spot to not only feel the warmth, but to show you could do whatever you wanted.

Even though you peed on Anthony’s bed a few times, we still deeply love you.

You loved to press your body against ours at night, truly cuddling with us. If you were lucky you got between our legs making it impossible for us to move at all.

Whether we were gone for twenty minutes or six hours, you welcomed us home with love and joy.

Tearing apart boxes brought you so much joy, of course we had to clean up the mess.

Even toys labeled as indestructible, were no match for you. If it had a soft inside, it ended up in your tummy.

The vet said you had the best teeth. I knew the “chew chews” bones filled with peanut butter would benefit your pearly whites.

A flashlight on the walls drove you mad, you just wanted to eat it.

We loved your enthusiasm for peanut butter and cheese…heck, you’d eat anything. We loved how you tried to protect us from all those crazy leaves…what a brave dog.

You loved Anthony’s giggles when you’d kiss him over and over.

I am sorry I didn’t pay better attention to your symptoms…I wish I hadn’t chalked up your extra grunts and snorts as you just being you… You weren’t having seizures, your body was in pain because of your megaesaphagus. I wish the neurologist had taken the time to look a little closer. I wish you were still here, running, snorting, jumping, licking, talking, and cuddling with us.

I’m sorry that we were in Florida when your body took a turn for the worse. I’m sorry that it would be too painful for you to wait for us to get back home. I wanted to hold you in my arms as you started your journey to heaven with God. While I’m glad that you had wonderful nurses and doctors to love you as you fell asleep, I wish it was me that held you. I’m sorry that I was not there when you needed me the most. For that I will always feel guilty.

We will always love you and miss you, our hearts will have a small hole just for you…one day we will meet again and play with and cuddle with…I can’t wait to kiss you again my sweet boy.

For now run free my sweet boy. Run, jump, snort, sneeze, snort, talk, chase those leaves, sniff other dogs, eat all the cheese and peanut butter you want, cuddle and feel safe in God’s arms. I know you will watch over us and I am so thankful we have you as our guardian angel dog.

Love Always Mommy, Daddy, and Anthony

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